Do you know anyone who yells a lot ? I hope not ! People who yell, in anger, have not yet gained full control over their “inner toddler”. We all need to strive to keep our inner toddlers under control, as we move towards emotional, and spiritual maturity.
Yelling, as a social behavior, is ineffective, ( unless, of course, you are warning someone of danger, or you need urgent help).
Parents who yell at their children lose their children’s trust. Scars from being yelled at can affect children for a lifetime, and can result in anxiety disorders, and issues with self-esteem.
Teachers who raise their voices at students quickly demonstrate that they have lost “control” over their classes. Student misbehaviour is usually greatest in classrooms where teachers habitually yell in ineffective attempts to influence student behaviour.
And, relationship partners who yell to gain control over their loved ones often eventually find themselves single.
Anger has been called the ‘iceberg’ emotion, since underneath the anger, which symbolically is visible ‘above the water’, there are other emotions. One of the main emotions underlying anger is fear. Other common feelings underlying anger are humiliation, jealousy, and pride.
A mom, for example, yelling in ‘anger’ at her kids, may actually be afraid that her misbehaving children will grow up to be juvenile delinquents, and she will be blamed !
Yelling is also damaging to our precious vocal chords. If we are careful to avoid straining our voices in this way, we can usually keep our voices sounding youthful as we age.
Let us ask God for the grace to improve our relationship skills so that we lose the impulse to yell at others.