The Unnamed Emotion

Do you have a high EQ ( Emotional Quotient) ?

As a writer, I am sure that you answered ‘yes’, since writers are skilled at understanding and describing human emotions.

Have you ever felt an emotion that you could not name ?

It has been almost six years since I developed an ‘unnamed’ emotion which sticks in my psyche.

After two priests were removed suddenly, without explanation, by his Excellency the bishop, many local parishioners, in shock and anger, fled the parish, and did not return. No shepherd came looking for us.

The replacement priest,newly arrived from Africa, was given strict instructions not to mention anything about the priests’ disappearance.

A close family member of mine reacted to this chaos, secrecy and cover-up in the church by becoming a member of another world religion. He said that it made him feel more comfortable because it had no “priests”.

That is when my ‘unnamed ’emotion, concerning this matter, developed. It is a kind of numb feeling ; emotional numbing is common to trauma survivors. In my case it is probably best that I can’t “feel” this emotion, otherwise it could overwhelm me.

I have no comment to make, expect that I pray daily for more patience, and for my faith and trust in God to grow, even when I don’t understand what God is doing.

I do know that God works through trials and difficulties in our lives, and ultimately we grow spiritually from what he allows.

(Romans 8:28)

In the meantime, I will leave my ‘unnamed’ emotion, and the events that led to it, in God’s hands, and sometimes , I will read Matthew 18:6 ( You know, the verse mentioning millstones and the sea.)

God sees. God knows. God will act.

25 thoughts on “The Unnamed Emotion

  1. Sounds like a mixture of grief, horror, anger, frustration, and bafflement … that moment when we find out (are reminded) that only God can be fully relied upon. The more we have trusted people, the more of a shock it is. I can see where it would be too much for one person to handle all at once. May God bring healing to you and all others involved.

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    1. Thank-you for putting some descriptive words to my unnamed emotion. As I said, writers have high emotional quotient.
      Yes, for sure, only God can fully be relied upon to bring some sense out of this hurt. Thank-you especially for your prayers. ๐Ÿค—

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very good explanation of an inexplicable deep inner feeling! My problem is actually the opposite as I know the feeling that bothers me most all too well these days and have way too much anger start to surface in myself and in others around me when I see repeatedly the same terrible political hacks offering or saying the same trash rhetoric and actual lies; mainly to just try conning all of us further than they already have! I get so ticked off that we can’t do better as a society and flush the garbage away and get some real decent human beings to care enough and then get involved enough to seek positions in serving the citizenry. It just goes from bad to worse it seems and that frustrates me to no end. I pray to God to help the world improve much more and that He help me to not be so defeated by this turmoil. Amen.

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    1. It is normal to feel anger at injustice. I try to avoid media situations like movies where a lot of anger is shown because anger can be contagious.
      My husband and I have worked as social advocates here in NL, because many people lack the skills to advocate for themselves.
      One man that we help never went to school ( at all). Coming from a family of 12 children, his whole family was involved in catching and preparing fish, and so our friend is illiterate. This was hard for us to understand, since this is Canada.
      I do get ” angry”, for sure, but I try to compartmentalize it so that this emotion does not take over. I pray that you not feel defeated by the turmoil . I try to look for the beautiful things all around us, and I sure am looking forward to a new puppy. ๐Ÿค—

      Liked by 2 people

      1. ๐Ÿค— Great advice Sally and Spot-On; maybe even a good name for a puppy, Spot! My dog actually gives me so much at times more than humans seem to! But, you are accurate and the thing that prevails with me as it does with you and many faithful is that God is in charge and there is so much beauty and good all around us, but the negative is in force these days especially in the media and over the top violence abounding, so that is the poison pill that once taken it spreads like a cancer in the host and ruins! We need to be hip and wise to the snares of the evil one for sure; and this subject we mention is one of the areas he has some clout with people who fall out of grace and are blinded fools running amuck. Thanks Friend! ๐Ÿค—

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      2. Haha…Spot is a funny name , but we have picked out the name Oulu, pronounced Ooloo, because that is the name of a city in Finland that my husband likes. Every day when I get up , I reach up my hands towards the sky, symbolically , to accept all the blessings God is going to send that day . He never disappoints ! Let us ask for the grace to recognize all the blessings he longs to give his sons and daughters. ๐Ÿค—

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      3. Haha..๐Ÿค— yea it is Sally, but not half as funny as Ooloo which is much better all the way around, and like I say funny but in the sense that every-time you call him it makes you smile! I bet it will make God smile especially in those moments or occasions too! Keep reaching up Sally!

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  3. We who believe in the beauty and sacredness of the church get taken aback when we feel the foundation is not holding creating emotions of unknown identification. May God surround you in his loving peace and comfort as you stabilize you unnamed feeling.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I think it is sad when people point at fallen leaders in the church as evidence that God should have no place in their lives. I look at these leaders with sadness, and disappointment but accept that they are just people, and my relationship and faith does not depend on them.

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  5. โ™ก When We Switch Our Focus Amazing Things happen EveryOne; for example My Marvellous Mom is a Devout Christian…there were many Heated Discussions about The Value of “God”, Boyfriends, Husbands, Fathers; now She is Really Raging about Goddess being Excluded from Christianity and Understands that Christian is a Label of Mockery for The Followers of Christ and Islam is a Label of Mockery for The Followers of Mohammed and so on

    …โ™กโ™กโ™ก…

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  6. Sally, that reminds me of a phrase the Lord gave me when I was writing something recently: spiritual narcotic numbness. The thought had never occurred to me before I wrote it down, but it is quite descriptive of a state of emotion created to avoid unpleasantness and turmoil.

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  7. Good morning from the Midwest. Just scrolling through a few of your posts and this one caught my eye. Just curious if you’ve been able to name or untangle those thoughts/ feelings you’ve experienced with any more clarity since writing this? I have had this happen occasionally myself. Several years ago, when I had one of these situations, I had a word picture to describe it… when I was younger I’d cut open a golf ball..inside was a compressed ball of rubber bands…my inability to clearly identify what I was feeling was just like that golf ball..several strands (anger, confusion, grief, etc) so tightly compressed) It wasn’t until months later I could begin to untangle it…Take care. DM

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    1. Hi !
      Thanks for writing, and for your words of encouragement .
      I also have had that experience of cutting open a golf ball. That description of the compressed rubber bands is a great way to describe overwhelming emotion.
      There is still an unfolding situation here, connected with this trauma, that I’m unable to discuss ( for legal purposes), but when that is resolved, I may be able to slowly untangle, and make sense of these emotions.
      Thanks for writing.
      Your words mean a lot, and actually, hearing from you is a nice Mother’s Day gift for me.
      Thanks, and God bless you. ๐Ÿค—

      Liked by 1 person

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