Avoiding Avoidance

Do you sometimes use avoidant behaviours to try to handle stress ?

I stopped my daily weigh-in habit last December 21. It was the ‘season to be jolly,’ when social gluttony and overindulgance is encouraged. I tried to avoid thinking about the scale while feasting.

On January 1, I faced the scale. I had only gained two pounds (.907 kg) !

I quickly went to tell my husband that my weight gain was ‘small’, but he was unimpressed.

He explained that by gaining those two pounds of fat, my heart now had produced 14 miles (22.5 km) of microscopic blood vessels, called capillaries, to support the extra fat.

I was shocked at this, and told him that surely he had exaggerated ! He invited me to seek a second opinion from that dubious Dr. Google.

My husband then invited me to carry a two pound weight for half a kilometer down to the town harbour. By the time I got there, the weight I was carrying felt heavy.

I am now back in the habit of weighing myself every day. My father did this, and maintained the same weight all his life. My father also never ate refined sugar, and always resisted my mother’s fabulous baked treats.

Let us again remind ourselves of the beauty of life and that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

I am now working to lose the extra weight I gained during the jolly season.

Pictured is our town harbour, established in 1497.

35 thoughts on “Avoiding Avoidance

    1. Hi ! Happy New Year to you as well ! We have a little bit of snow. We do not actually get much snow here, but Central Newfoundland, and the West Coast gets a lot of snow. There were still 22 seagulls sitting in the pond where I walk every day. 🤗

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  1. two pounds is very small, and good for you for weighing yourself. Many people, myself included, have weight to lose and as we age our metabolisms are slowing down, my suggestion is be kind to yourself, and keep monitoring as you are already.

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  2. This got me thinking how it’s sort of like putting the body into a defense mechanism arrangement or strategic pattern of having road blocks to remind us not to travel down certain ones; which is better than a guilty conscience or the worst scenario of letting one’s self go for too long then having to back pedal which is always much harder than not doing the damage in the first place, which is way too easy to do especially to the undisciplined. It’s always much harder to repair than break something.
    One definition of a defense mechanism is, “A defense mechanism is a strategy designed to help you avoid psychological pain or anxiety. Yet, defense mechanisms can limit your life in destructive ways.”
    So, my take away is we can worry ourselves to death too, but balance is the essential factor always looking to curb the unnecessary or out of control from happening in the first place while still relaxing enough to smell the roses and enjoy a few splurges here and there to experience the savory delectability of what the natural world has to offer our palates, as who wants to be walking around on eggshells; but always just reminding ourselves that there is a huge caution sign on these roads warning of these things being very habit forming on the brain and so travel at one’s own risk.

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      1. I think so Sally seems very logical and fair too! Ya know, the dichotomy of life having to take the good with the bad! Mom said it best, when Dad would say “life isn’t a bowl of cherries, and she would say, “That’s right there are lots of pits too.”

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    1. Yes, Lawrence, there is so much history here ! The fishing boats are bigger now, but in years past men fished in smaller boats. And family rivalries, around fishing, continue to this day. Sometimes families fished in areas that were ‘claimed ‘ by other families, and thus feuds resulted. Pizza , fried chicken and hamburgers seem to be the popular foods for most of the locals these days. But we have a freezer full of cod brought to us by a local fisherman. For political reasons, those fish never make it into the stores.

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      1. I just had some leftover pizza about an hour ago that I made a few days ago with homemade tomato sauce, thick crust Neapolitan Style thick crust and four cheeses, olives and mushrooms! I’m stuffed! Yea those fishing heritage families can be close but competitive too all depends I used to talk to my brother-in-law who was a first mate after starting to work as a deck hand at 16, only stopped for a college degree then went back to the family he worked for but when the Captain/owner passed away suddenly he bought the steel hull trawler and he ran a good business with it for many years, even wrote a novel about a Canadian terrorist organization back in the late 90’s but not sure if he got it published although I did hand a copy to a NYC TV/Film Producer who was once a NYC Police Detective before he got involved in Film/TV, who I had met, attempting to see if he and his partners would be interested in it to option it or something, but all around the 9/11 time frame so I think it went on a back burner and I lost track of that group of people when I made another career change. Very well written though from what I recall it was tense and had twists and turns.
        Sounds like you have a good source of Cod, very healthy! Politics is an ugly beast these days it seems all over.
        I bet the old timers have some good stories to tell and many would scare the heck out of us landlubbers!
        My brother-in-law told me about some perfect storms he sailed in! Lord have Mercy! 🤗

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      2. Naples is where the best pizzas come from ! I can understand why Jesus chose fishermen as his first followers. They are brave ! And they are patient, and take orders well from their captain. Their lives often depend on it. Sounds like your brother-in-law had some very interesting adventures at sea.

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      3. Oh God yes, he sure did and not me I would be heaving continuously and I want get home and worry too much to be out there! All true what you said 100%, very helpful insights!!! I love that Dean Martin song “That’s Amore. “In my case the girl got away so when I hear that song I smile but think about a big pizza pie not in my eye but in my mouth!!! HAHA!!! The pizza never gets away from me, NEVER! Good I was born skinny!
        Oh God yes, he sure did and not me I would be heaving continuously and I want get home and worry too much to be out there! All true what you said 100%, very helpful insights!!! I love that Dean Martin song Amore’ In my case the girl got away so when I hear that song I smile but think about a big pizza pie not in my eye but in my mouth!!! HAHA!!!
        “When a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
        That’s amore
        When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine
        That’s amore
        Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
        And you’ll sing “Vita bella”
        Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
        Like a gay tarantella.”

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      4. I know the world is changing and not for the better but many locales there are still rich with the passion of the people and the culture! I just listened to that Dean Martin tune my mother always loved it and she was a great trained singer a soprano full blooded Italian girl her family was from Naples. You have great taste for locales, people and food!!! 🤗
        That song is so nice to listen to it was a nicer time in the world for sure so innocent in away or charming actually! A while back I had a chance to collect hundreds of songs digitally mastered and I have a wide range from stuff like Jimi Hendrix to the Beach Boys to Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra to the Cars or Elvis and The Go Go’s or Pink Floyd and Eric Clapton! I actually like many artists and if its good music I know it and love it but there’s equally as much trash and useless stuff out there too! I even get into Big Band Tommy Dorsey, Glenn Miller or Harry James! The Andrews Sisters were awesome too! Then Symphony Music blows me away! I used to pretend I was a conductor as a boy in the living room and love all the classics, but recent ones like Hans Zimmer the Thin Red Line and then I love Giaochino Rossini of course the William Tell Overture!
        I just thought, boy if I make it to heaven it’s going to be so much fun way better than the best of everything here!!!
        Thanks for the memories! Bob Hope! 🤗

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      5. Hi Lawrence – sounds like you appreciate many different kinds of music. I mainly like music without words. Mozart is my favourite composer. And I like listening to hymns on harp- harp music is soothing to me. And I love Gregorian Chant. Music has such a powerful affect on us because it affects the limbic brain, the emotional brain. I like to create my own music too. I play the guitar and sing. I’m not attending any church right now, so I worship on my own.
        The situation in the Catholic Church really has me confused – especially with the Pachemama situation and the betrayals I’ve experienced. But I love the Catholic Liturgy . Do you have any opinions on how the situation in the church is going to get resolved ?

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  3. I don’t weigh myself often. But I also don’t let myself gain more than a certain amount of weight. 5 pounds is definitely my turning point. Some people buy new clothes when they gain weight. If my clothing starts to get snug, it’s time to get serious. It’s been really hard though with the fatigue the last few years. I have a few pounds to lose. I can do it! The biggest factor in losing weight is diet. If I just get even a little exercise I can do this. 😀 It’s a goal.

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    1. Hi Tina ! Most of my clothes are old, because I like them, and they still fit. My navy blazer is from 2001. You are wise to have five pounds as your turning point. I agree with you that the biggest factor in losing weight is diet. 🤗

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  4. I used to weigh every morning, but after months and months of never changing, I quit. I have put of about 10 pounds over the past few months, but our church always does a 21-day fast in January, and if I hadn’t put that weight on I wouldn’t be able to participate in the fast because I never put back more than half of what I lose while fasting. I can’t allow myself to lose too much, so I am glad of the gain at this point in time. But I definitely don’t want to stay at this weight although the doctors would say I’m still underweight. I feel better when I weigh less, and I think we need to take that into consideration too. Good for you not gaining more than 2 pounds. I only gained one or two pounds over the holiday.

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    1. Sounds like we both exercised restraint over the holidays. 🤗 That is amazing that your church does a 21 day fast. Sounds like you have a very committed group of worshippers. I feel better when I weigh less too. 🤗

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      1. It seems that a lot of churches do the 21-day fast at the beginning of the year. Not everyone participates, but there are quite a few who do. A couple of us have felt led to extend it to 40 days in years past, but I doubt I will do that again. Some do a partial fast–one or two meals a day, certain foods, like a Daniel fast. Some think it’s OK just to fast TV or some other activity, but I don’t see anywhere in scripture that says fasting is anything other than food and liquids. I try to do mostly liquids, not just water, but more water than other things. Herbal tea. Sometimes a bit of milk or some soup. But my food intake is definitely at a minimum.

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    1. Hi there ! Happy New Year ! I also wish you and your family a blessed New Year. Let us continue to enjoy all the beautiful food that God has blessed us with, and let’s pray that the Holy Spirit continues to give us the fruit of self-control so we can enjoy delicious food in moderation. 🤗

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    1. Thanks, Dawn. Yes, he was really disciplined, and followed a fitness program long before “fitness” became an industry. My earliest memory of him was when he was doing his exercises from his Air Force exercise manual. 🤗

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  5. My dear Sally, after reading your post I felt guilty and ashamed. I gained much much more than you these past few days and I can’t imagine how much miles of blood capillaries my heart needs. But, I won’t ask Dr.Google. my church is going on a 21days fast starting next week so I will endeavor to descipline myself. The title of your post is very unique.

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    1. Hi Beverley !
      Most of us overindulge in the holidays ! It is excellent that your church will be fasting together.
      We need each other’s support since the temptations we face are common to all of us. God knows us. God loves us. God helps us. 🤗

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